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'I would have loved my old man to listen to me' James Lowe on being more open with his kids

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As a new dad-of-two, James Lowe is reflecting on fatherhood and admits that he finds himself looking at things from his own childhood and trying to build and improve on them.

To be clear, the rugby star, 33, has nothing but love and respect for his parents and says: 'I had an awesome childhood filled with nothing but happiness, you know, there's never anything that sort of went wrong. I had a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, it's all you can ask for. As a parent now you're probably looking at things your parents did, that you could probably try to do better or change, it's not until you become a parent that you actually think about these [things.]'

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James is specifically speaking of learning that he had Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis (JIA) at 14 years of age, a curveball that threatened to derail his promising career, but arguably, the lack of understanding surrounding the condition was every bit as tough.

International, James Lowe, speaking to Ross McCarthy, from Naas, County Kildare whose son, Cian McCarthy featured in the 'I Am Number 17' book, which showcases the stories and portraits of 17 people living with a rare disease across Ireland. Pic: Damien Eagers/Julien Behal Photography
International, James Lowe, speaking to Ross McCarthy, from Naas, County Kildare whose son, Cian McCarthy featured in the 'I Am Number 17' book, which showcases the stories and portraits of 17 people living with a rare disease across Ireland. Pic: Damien Eagers/Julien Behal Photography

It's one of the reasons he immediately signed on to become involved in a campaign to highlight awareness of rare diseases. He also penned the foreword for I Am Number Seventeen, a recently released book sharing the triumphs and challenges facing one in 17 people in Ireland living with rare diseases.

'My parents thought I just wanted to play PlayStation all day, and, [I'm like] I can't even pick up the control at the moment, it's that bad,' James recalled.

'My dad tried to blackmail me at one stage, thinking I was joking, I was like a week in bed, and I'm like "Dad, I'm [still] the same", and I had to walk 20 minutes to catch a bus for half an hour to get to school.' His dad's response was to point out that there was a school across the street that he could go to instead.

International, James Lowe, with Changemaker Cian McCarthy and his father Ross McCarthy, from Naas, County Kildare. Pic: Damien Eagers / Julien Behal Photography
International, James Lowe, with Changemaker Cian McCarthy, from Naas, County Kildare. Pic: Damien Eagers / Julien Behal Photography

Looking back now, as a dad to son Nico, aged two, and daughter Renn, seven months, whom he shares with his wife Arnica, he wishes he could have been more open with his parents so that they could properly understand what he was going through.

'I would have loved my old man to listen to me, I think that would have gone a long way, and it would have helped me. So now I've got a two-and-a-half-year-old and an eight-month-old,' he said.

'When [my son] grows up, I want him to look at me how I looked at my dad, and I loved my dad so, so much, and I still do, but I wish my dad would have listened to me.

'So if my son ever asks me questions or needs something from me, I want to be able to give it to him.'

James Lowe and Nico. Pic: Arni Lowe/Instagram
James Lowe and Nico. Pic: Arni Lowe/Instagram

James told EVOKE that his experience has probably made him 'more conscious as a parent, just to be looking out for things, but I'll probably try also as a parent just to listen to my child [when they try] to speak to me about different things.'

He also delves into the shift of going from one child to two, honestly admitting that it's hard going.

'It's horrible,' he jokes, 'One child is very, very tough and then you get another one and the whole dynamic of the household completely changes.

James Lowe gets ready to head off to Oz. Pic: Arni Lowe/Instagram
James Lowe gets ready to head off to Oz. Pic: Arni Lowe/Instagram

'Obviously, Nico's not old enough to consciously understand what's going on, and all of a sudden someone's hanging out with mum more than him, so yeah, it's been an interesting one, but something you take in your stride, something that's not uncommon in family [life], so yeah, it's been awesome. It's been a tough experience, but yeah, good.'

2025 has been a bumper year for the Lowes, after welcoming baby Renn in January, Arnica and James decided to take the leap and become Irish citizens.

James Lowe with his son Nico after the game in Brisbane. Pic: INPHO
James Lowe with his son Nico after the game in Brisbane. Pic: INPHO

'I've been here for ten years and consider myself as being Irish now, I don't see us leaving anytime soon, even if I were to retire here,' he said.

'So my kids were born here, my wife and I have been here for long enough, so to become an Irish citizen was obviously the next step. It's something that we're very proud to have taken and been accepted.'

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